Dear Diary,
Tonight has been such a bizarre night; first my mother brings news of the valiant Paris seeking my love and I just felt like I should have went with the flow, and do anything my mother felt that was best for me. Then it all changed so fast when it was time for the party, everyone was having a good time but then there he was someone I never met before, Oh Romeo! He held my hand and we gazed upon each other’s faces, our words magically turning into a sonnet before we kissed in the middle of everything. It was so amazing and he kissed by the book, it was such an amazing feeling and I wished I could just keep on going and never have stop but then my nurse called me and my short fantasy ended. O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo? Why must my only love sprung from my only hate! Thoughts were rushing in my head, why a Montague, what will he be thinking once he finds out I am a Capulet will our relationship be over? I emerged to my balcony and began to think aloud, we are meant to be sworn enemies but I love him and I don’t think I can stop! If I have to not be a Capulet for me to be with him than I’ll no longer be a Capulet, what’s in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet; I will stick to Romeo and will not change my mind. I would let him take all myself! Then suddenly a sound appears from the bushes below my balcony, there he approaches! I was in shock if they do see thee, they will murder thee! I told him to leave but his love to me was just too strong and we began a conversation. At first I was blushing and rather than feeling more excited and happy that he was down below me I was terrified and needed him to leave! It was no use to try he could not leave, so I decided to leave myself, but he cried out the need of satisfaction. I was not sure of what he was thinking about so I asked and he replied the exchange of thy love’s faithful vow for mine. It was weird for him to say this as if it was not what he was really thinking but I just said that my love for him was endless and that I would not have to exchange vows again. Then my nurse calls for my name and a burst of energy just came out of me and I rushed to say goodbye but then I told him that if he really loved me, thy purpose marriage, send me word tomorrow. Now that I actually have to leave him for the night it felt so bad and I felt so very sad, though I am excited for the day ahead as I shall hopefully be wed with Romeo! But now I say goodnight to him over and over. A thousand times goodnight!
My 2 stars for this task would be
ReplyDelete- nice range of vocabulary and adjectives
- the quotes that somewhat reveal to the reader the mindset of Juliet or the good quotes?
My wish for this task is that I would have liked it to be a bit more detailed perhaps? Paragraphing may also be needed? In conclusion a wonderful diary entry that really reflects Juliet's character
I liked how she questions herself, and the quotes were reasonable amount to me. But you should of done it in paragraphs.
ReplyDeleteThe main problem is the paragraphs, but dont let that put you down. It is a nice peice of work and I thought you portrayed Juliet very well.
ReplyDeleteWell done
You've done especially well here at relating the story, and also in including lots of well-chosen quotations into your diary entry. Well done.
ReplyDeleteHowever, because it is far more retelling the story than reflecting upon your character's role in and feelings about it, you do not afford yourself enough opportunity to analyse your chosen quotations through what you write. Therefore, I am left knowing clearly WHAT happened, but not so much about HOW your character feels, and how the quotations show that.
Band 3