Ay me! What a night this has been! It’s hard to believe that only a few hours ago I was just this sheltered little girl who really hadn’t given any thought about love…that was until I saw him. Romeo. Oh Romeo! I am so lucky to have met him; I can just feel that it is meant to be. We are going to wed tomorrow, oh I am so nervous! But ever so excited! To be perfectly honest I’m not sure how to feel. Me? Getting married? Me, who twelve hours earlier claimed that marriage was an honor- and one that I dreamed not of! It’s all so overwhelming, the excitement of that kiss-my first kiss! That sweet sin! Everything has just happened so fast, but a good kind of fast. I have no hesitations with him, he’s the one. We met at the party; I had seen him looking at me and thought it was a little strange. The next thing I know he is right next to me and is trying to hold my hand! I didn’t even know his name! I knew it was wrong, but-oh! - It felt so right! He tells me that he wishes to kiss me, and then we did! He kisses by the book, I can tell you. I was so happy; all I wanted to do was to keep kissing his lips! But then, my nurse came and told me that my mother wanted to speak to me, so we had to stop. Even when I’d left him I couldn’t stop smiling. I think the nurse could tell something had happened, she knows me too well. She told me that Romeo was a Montague! Our families are sworn enemies! I was so consumed with sadness I ran up to my bed chamber and cried. I wondered if Romeo knew whether or not I was a Capulet. How would he react when he found out? We may never even see each other again. After changing into my nightgown, I walked onto my balcony and taking a deep sigh, questioned everything. Why is he Romeo? Why did he have to be a Montague?! I would do anything to be with him, I would give all of myself to him! Then, out of the shadows down below I hear a rustling and somebody speaking...its Romeo! I wondered why he was hiding there and more importantly how long for. I hoped he hadn’t heard what I just said about him! I could feel myself blushing thank goodness it was dark! When I asked him why he was here, he told me that loves wings had brought him. I knew if anybody saw us together, they would surely kill him! I warned him of this but he just wanted to be with me. I wanted to be with him too. I didn’t want things to move too fast, so I said goodnight to him and we kissed again. That’s when I realised being caught was well worth the risk! We talked for a while longer before my nurse called me again. I didn’t want this to end. I asked him to marry me and he is sending me news of when and where tomorrow! Now, writing it down it all seems so crazy, so unreal and completely rushed! Maybe I proposed in a moment of haste. But then again, I have never felt this way before. I trust what I feel and I wasn’t looking for love. Maybe in a way its fate. Of course I am thinking why oh why must I love a loathed enemy? Then I realized something. What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet! I will marry Romeo, regardless of what anybody else thinks! I’ll deny my father and refuse my name, because nobody can tell me who to love. That’s a choice I must make on my own.
I think this was a good peice of writing and I found it easy to read. I think it's interesting how you portray Juliet as naïve girl ho has never thought about love. But she's a 13 year old girl. A year younger than us. I just think that maybe you could have read between the lines a little more. Tapped into the gold that lay just below the surface. What I really like is how the extracts from the script you have taken seem to easily flow into the story. That you haven't had to bend your writing to fit. Rather it's good enough to work well with them.
ReplyDeleteThis is fantastic, and really feels like Juliet is speaking to us. You have captured her mindset and her emotions with aplomb, and I was also struck by the fluency with which you refer to the wider context of the play and the situation she is in. Great stuff!
ReplyDeleteThe only things I would have improved would have been paragraphing (!), and also, perhaps, a few more, embedded, words and phrases from the play in order to ensure that ALL of your ideas are demonstrably and firmly rooted in the play text itself.
Band 2