Saturday, 10 September 2011

Light and Darkness? Task 1, TheTroll

Deep within the mysterious lands of Falsaro, where the fog never seemed to vanish, where it seemed like anything which attempted to grow. Failed. Lay ruins of the once-known Kalirat Castle. It belonged to the king Galaporan Dantis III. For centuries they ruled with peace until one day an argument broke out and it engaged war with Dalanor. Dalanor won, the people of Kalirat unknowingly vanished along with its king. A strange fog appeared five months after Kalirat’s defeat and whoever enters it never made another appearance ever again.


A figure stood in front of an orb inside those ruins. A human. The orb shines and a dark, creepy voice came from it.
"Sojh..." the voice said, almost as if it's whispering
"Yes master, preparations are complete and my forces are already ready, Jake Balken will be eliminated and the prophecy will be overthrown." The human replied without hesitation
"Very well. Remember what I taught you... I want him dead this time..."

A sword swings around the arms of a young, seventeen year old teenager from Dalanor. Making contact with a dummy made from the hardest pieces of wood in Solatis.
"That's enough training for today, Jake." A man with long, straight black hair, a thirty-four year old but still looked young.
"When will I ever ready, Dan?" The back of Jake's left hand swipes through his forehead and ended with a thin layer of moist on it.
"You can't just know when you're ready, after all the Darkness is a powerful force and whoever is their leader would be unbelievably strong." Dan speaks with a minor smile. He took another breath, and continues
"After all, we don't want you dying easily to him or anything like that." Jake pushes his sword back to its cover.
"Well why can't you fight him? You are, after all the strongest out of all of us." Dan's smile faded and he shook his head calmly, he made no signs of any happiness or sadness in his response.
"Because you're the one that Fate chose, not me. But as your mentor, I will teach to one day be as strong as me."  Jake sighed and nodded his head once.
"Night is falling in. Best to get some sleep, I need to be out on guard duty in case any Darks approach this castle throughout the night" Jake agreed so. Both took separate paths down the hallways of Dalanor Castle.

The young warrior enters his room, does his usual routine of cleaning up before getting some shuteye and lies down on his bed. Looking at the ceiling, a flashback of his parents smiling at him replayed in his mind. His mother passed away twelve years ago by an unknown illness that couldn't be cured, fortunately wasn't contagious. She was the only one that had gotten deadly disease and nobody knew why. His father, on the other hand was a noble warrior, he was the King's right hand man. Dan was trained by him. He also trained his sons when they were young. But five years after his wife's death, he was killed in his sleep by his second son. Josh. Stabbed through the heart twice by someone he loved at exactly 3.00am.

Josh was one year younger than Jake, and rumors said he had defected from Light to Darkness. Nobody knew who or what corrupted his head that night when he stabbed his father. However he always held grudges against his own brother, jealous of how great he was in training and how he was 'Fate's Chosen One' and 'The One from The Prophecy'. Josh never got any great titles unlike his own brother.
"You should know better! We can't hold back the Darkness forever!" Jake remembered the exact words that his bother screamed at him with after welcoming his father's death. Jake couldn't stop him in time, after reaching his father's room he saw what coldness Josh had produced. Blood quickly stained the sheets of the bed. Soon it was dripping down and Josh's dagger was eager for another. One more strike went. A dark, cold smile appeared while eyes widened from Josh's face.
"I'd like to see you be 'Fate's Chosen One' now!" As he slid the window with a rope, he made a smooth escape.

The flashback ended and Jake was back in reality. A single drop of transparent liquid formed from his right eye and gravity pulls it down to the pillow, he forced both his eyes to close. The world slowly dims.

Not far off from Dalanor stood a sensory tower like the others. A young, brave guard stood still for hours, scanning the area visible to his eyes, slowly turning his head left and right for better observation around him. Until something unusual caught his eyes. Reacting immediately he alarmed the other guards.
"What’s that, there." The guard points out swiftly across the small, sloppy hills, a small dim light struggled to light up from the views of a sensory tower not far off Dalanor Castle.
"Report this to Dan whose on duty at the walls in the castle immediately, send a messenger hawk." Another guard reacted once he spotted what the other guard had detected. A few other guards standing by rushed to the table where the hawk was caged, wrote a message, slid it inside a small tube and tied it to the hawk's left leg. All happened in a matter of seconds after the message was written. 

Somewhere from the roof of the tower, came a pair of legs with sharp daggers attached to each side. Sticking out, the daggers penetrated through the armor of a guard still in watch. Right through his chest and back out then disappeared right before any others could notice, the noise made from the guard falling caused the others to look back and notice that he was dead.
"W-w-what happened" One of them asked
"He was stabbed... But how did we not notice?!" Another responded. All of them now start to lose their courage and struggle with fear. CRASH! The middle of the roof of the tower got broken through and a masked man came down throwing daggers. The hawk screeches. Before even reacting to the man's presence, the daggers coming from him went silently and as fast as a bullet could go. The knives completed the job easily and quickly. Five of them fell to the ground. Dead. One was left shivering, expecting his end would come. He immediately rushes to the hawk trying to make it fly with the message; another dagger had become visible to the living guard. But it wasn't aiming for him; it was aiming for the hawk. Feathers flew out of it's wings as it tries to fly out of the way. It couldn’t. At last it ended with another, loud screech, the animal laid there without motion with a dagger sticking out its golden shimmering handle. Next was the man. He knew it be over for him. All his lives were gone and this was his last one playing the game. The masked intruder stabbed instead of throwing this time,he made the guard stand with the blade stuck to him, and unraveled his mask. The man's eyes widened as his jaws lost grip and came open, blood drops down.
"Y...You're...!" as the blood starts reaches to his neck.
"Yes, I am." The man ended with taking out the blade he stabbed the guard with and cutting his neck at a spot swiftly where the blood was just reaching. Game over.

Morning came to Falsaro Lands. Jake had a hard time sleeping last night, a nightmare called upon his inner conscience about him failing to save Falsaro from the Darkness. He walked out of his room finding Dan rushing down the hallway.
"Morning Dan!" Jake greeted as if the dream never occurred.
"Can't talk now, King Dalanore IV summons my presence, I'll talk to you later on when I'm dismissed from him" Dan spoke in a faster tone than normal.
"Oh, ok then, I'll be waiting at the Training Hall." Dan nods and carried his face pace down to the Throne Room. Jake became worried of what the situation is at. He shrugged and headed to eat get some food to eat at the Dining Hall before training.

Dan enters the room with a rush and kneels down before King Dalanore IV.
"What do you request me of, sire?" Dan asked kneeling down and facing to the ground
"Rise. Remember you do not need to bow or go on duty at night to serve me, you are, after all. My left hand man" The King insisted and Dan slowly rises from the ground.
"I do pay my highest level of respects to you sire and I do whatever I can to protect Dalanor" Dan smiles as he says those words.
"I know I know, back to why I summoned you. The sensor tower nearby Taruhan Hills had lost communication with our other towers. I sent a messenger there and while ago and he never came back since." The tower at nearby Taruhan Hills is twenty minutes from Dalanor Castle when riding by horse.
"Of course sire, I will investigate at once" Dan nods once and leaves the room. 

Dan went to the Training Hall where other warriors challenge each other and trained their abilities to look for his apprentice. Jake was at the northern side of the room, challenging with another warrior. Jake is more skilled than the other warriors other than Dan in Dalanor.
"Jake I'm afraid there won't be any training today with me, the King has just set a task for me to investigate the sensor tower by Taruhan Hills" Jake asked his opponent if there could be a break, his opponent agreed and said he would be back in five minutes. When he left, Jake turned to Dan with a surprising look.
"What's going on at the sensory tower at Taruhan Hills?" Jake questioned
"There has been some communication errors going on between the tower and the castle, I'll be back shortly"
"You better come back; I'll be here when you do." Jake spoke with confidence. Dan left to set on his task.

The King's left hand man sets off with his horse to Taruhan Hills. The day was still early but the Sun's heat was intense as if it was a dessert instead of green land. Dan went alone to solve the communication problem. 

When Dan reached there, he shouted out to see if anyone was there. No response was given. He then knocked on the door for the tower to see if anyone would open. Nobody did. Dan started to lose his patience; he grabbed his sword and kicked down the piece of wood that was blocking his way. The place looked dark. He spots the messenger the King mentioned that he sent. The messenger was dead. He had several stabs through his body and it lay on the ground motionless with blood stained clothes. Dan's eyes widened and he grabbed his sword with both of his hands now, preparing for any action or surprise attacks as he climbed the stairs up to the top of the tower. Reaching there he witnessed seven guards all on the floor with a messenger hawk still tied with the message. The blood leaked almost everywhere and Dan couldn't sense and aliveness from the tower. He opened the tube containing the message with his guard still on and read it.
"A small light?" He said to himself. A small sound destroyed the muteness of the room; Dan stands up into the same position with his sword on both hands.
"Come out, coward!" Dan shouts.
"Hello, Dan..." A dark figure slowly climbs up the stairs and becomes visible. He had a mask to secure his identity, but it was no use. Dan already knew who it was.

SHING! As both swords slide down making contact with each other, Jake struggles, his opponent was much bigger and much stronger than him. But strength wasn't always everything to win a fight, Jake made use of his agility and dodged most of the attacks, some were blocked as well but dodging seemed more of a better plan. As his opponent makes one final swing, with his might, after studying Jake's movements he swung his blade at a place where he knew he would hit him. Jake saw this coming and used his handle of his sword to hit his opponent's hand while holding the sword with blinding speed. The opponent's attack got intercepted and Jake raised his sword to his neck. Jake had won. Ending the duel, both of them shook hands to show peace to each other and congratulated each other for their impressive skills.
"You fight like a true warrior Jake, I can see why they call you 'The King's Second Right Hand Man'" the man said.
"Thank you, you fight with great strength as well!" Jake smiled back to him and gave another handshake. A guard stormed into the Training Hall calling for a name.
"Jake Balken the King awaits your presence!" The guard alarmed
"What is it?" Jake asked with a sudden serious face
"Dan Poran was sent to investigate the sensor tower at Taruhan Hills two hours ago and has not returned!" Jake's face turned even more serious when he heard what the guard had mentioned. Both of them rushed to the Throne Room and knelled down before the king.
"Rise both of you, Jake, I need you to be part of the small force set out to get to the bottom of that tower!" The King mentioned. Both Jake and the guard rose.
"You and four other of my men including Luke here will be sent out to the tower and figure out what’s going on. Luke will be your captain for the team. Shall you not fail me, my men." Both agreed and set off to the main gates of Dalanor Castle.

The other three of the force were already prepared and ready to go; Luke and Jake arrived a few minutes after.
"Let’s go" The first man insisted.
"Yeah I'm curious to find out what’s going on there..." The second said. Surprisingly it was the same man Jake challenged with right before he was summoned by the king. Both of them noticed each other.
"Hello Jake, I haven't properly introduced myself. My name is Harken."
"It is a pleasure to ride with a noble warrior like you, Harken" Jake kindly replied. However their conversation was interrupted by their captain, telling them that introductions can be sorted out later on after the task is completed. Luke gave the order to set out.

Arriving at the tower, Jake quickly took notice of Dan's horse tied, the horse made no sound. As if something had gone terribly wrong. Jake could see the animal's emotion through it's eyes, staring back at him. Jake turns as the others awaited him to join them. The tower door was broken down and wasn't cleaned up. It looked like it was knocked down recently. The five men armed their swords and proceeded into the tower. It was silent; the only sound was coming from the shaking armor each step taken and the horses outside. There was nobody in sight. No other bodies were spotted other than themselves.
"You two, stay down here and go for watch." Luke commanded. Pointing to Harken the other man, both of them made no objections. Jake and the other two including his captain took the steps up to the tower.

When taking the final step. The man in front, Luke froze. The other two were suspicious of what happened to their captain, as if he suddenly turned to stone. Making them both wrong, he took another step and made way for the other two to arrive up at the same level. They had understood why Luke had no motion for that moment. Nine bodies were on the floor. Seven guards, two messengers. Luke had a flashback when he finished counting the bodies. He remembered that each tower only contained seven guards. He was in the Throne Room when the King had sent a messenger not long ago and mentioned he never came back. Then he sent Dan to figure out what's going on. The first body he suspected looked like the messenger from before. The second body, had no clear view, he had a mask on. Dan never used masks.

"Wait a minute..." Luke's eyes squinted and took another step towards to the unknown corpse. The other two turned around and walked behind him. With closer view, he noticed the body had no crest and the most obvious thing that a dead body cannot do. Breathe.
"He's a living trespasser!" Luke exclaimed as he raises his sword and tries to stab the body. The 'dead' body rolled over backwards and stood up, arming his golden handled daggers within a split second. The other two behind Luke rushed towards his aid, standing beside him, wielding their swords.

"What did you do to Dan!?" Shouted Jake angrily, his usual kind face wasn't noticed anymore, his rage had countless of questions. The man responded with throwing three daggers rapidly, all in different levels one high one middle one low. However the daggers had the same aim. The other man standing on the left side of Luke. Unable to escape the man tries to block all three but only managed to block one, the lower one. He ducks for the one aiming his head but he took too much time that there was one more heading for him. The dagger pierced through him, as if the armor was no help at all and he dropped to the ground, motionless with blood leaking out. Luke reacts and charges towards the man, using a curvy path in case the man took more daggers out. Luke attempts to slash him once, but the masked opponent dodged his attack with ease. Directly behind him, the man took out a dagger and stabbed Luke through the chest and left it there to drag Luke down to the floor. The skilled masked person was back to facing Jake. The same method that was used to kill the other man first was used against Jake. The three daggers came out rushing towards him; Jake had faster reflexes and barely dodged the daggers. The man took out another three similar daggers, Jake charges with his sword pointed towards the man. He missed, the man was behind him now, he remembered what the man had done to kill Luke, he was about to use the same method against him! Jake quickly swiped his right foot behind and without notice; his foe had fallen to the ground with Jake facing him. Without delay, Jake stabs his own blade at the enemy on the stomach so he couldn't move.

The man struggles to open his mask but eventually did. Shock came to Jake's eyes, the face of the one that had been jealous of him. The rumors were true. The one who had stabbed and is about to kill was his own brother Josh.
"Jake...you can't...win....against...the Darkness..." Josh's mouth erupted blood. The flashbacks come back to Jake; he had witnessed what Josh did. He couldn't forgive him.
"You fought well, brother. But I can't forgive you for what you did."
"I am only...the apprentice...of the Darkness Leader...my power…is just a small ounce...of what...he can do..."
"I believe I am ready, whoever the Darkness Leader is, and I will defeat him and bring peace." Jake, still in his serious tone.
"Once...you see him...you won’t be able to kill him....isn't that right…?" Josh points behind Jake towards the stairs.
"Yes, that is right Sojh. Or should I say Josh. You've been a wonderful pawn to me but I'm afraid your time has come." Another familiar voice went to Jake's ears coming from the stairs, but it seemed deeper than before. Josh took one final laugh at Jake before falling into great, utter, silence.

Jake slowly turned his head behind and looked. His heart sunk into major depths. He dropped his sword. A small laugh came from the man standing there. The man who stood by Jake all this time, the only one who was the closest thing to his family. The man who was his mentor.  Who encouraged him to fight against the Darkness. Dan.

"D-Dan?" Jake's sadness took over him and he grew emotional.
"Yes, Dan, more like. Galaporan Dantis...V" A cold smile formed within his face.
"I am the Darkness Leader. The one that planned all this" Jake noticed Dan's armor; it had turned black with small skulls and the Darkness crest on it. Jake suddenly turned cold and shakes.
"W-w-why...!" Even though he already knew why, Jake still asked the question.
"The defeat of Kalirat two generations ago? I am the last of my people. Galaporan Danits III found a sacred orb containing dark magic; it took over him and his people. Seeking revenge over Dalanor he planned this day to come. The day when Dalanor falls!" Jake couldn't move even when attempted to. His dark discovery of his own teacher had taken almost all of him. Dan swipes out his sword, a black blade with engraved symbols were in his right hand. He walks towards Jake, which didn't move at all.
"This is the end. Jake. The prophecy has failed. The King will believe whatever I say and the whole of Falasaro will soon be under my domain." A war cry roared as Dan stabs Jake through the heart with his blade. Coming from outside, skeletons with shields and swords surrounded the tower as the awaited their precious leader.

Jake falls to the ground and closed his eyes, everything went pitch black.


8 comments:

  1. woah, it makes mine look so short O.o, nice job though ! (:

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  2. 3400 words... facepalm you make my essay feel so insignificant..

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  3. OWH MAH GAWD "human dictionary" agreed, mine too.

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  4. OMG!! you wrote so much! It was a nice story!

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  5. Lol edward shuteye ;)

    and u spelt desert as dessert. just saying.

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  6. Well, I can't criticise your ambition: this is an epic piece, where you attempt a massive task. You are clearly writing in a genre in which you feel comfortable and with which you feel familiar, and this shows, because you are able to create and sustain a powerful and convincing sense of atmosphere for your reader throughout. In addition, the time and effort you have clearly put in to craft this richly tapestried fantasy world must have been immense. Well done!

    However, the trouble with genre-writing, as I have said to others on the blog, is that it can become derivative and clichéd and lose originality, and you need to beware of that. More importantly, however, to create and sustain sufficient tension to engage your reader throughout every one of your 3400 words is a tough call, and I don't think you quite manage it. In addition, some problems with your choice of tense (past or present), added to some difficulties with your grammar and syntax, also reduce the effect on your reader to some extent.

    Band 3

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  7. Nice story overall sounds like it came out from WoW or some medieval game ;)

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