Dear Diary,
Last night was perfect. I know people say that there is no such thing as perfect but last night was definitely the closest thing to perfection. I'm in love. With whom, might you ask? Juliet. O, she doth teach the torches to burn bright! You probably thought that I'd say I was in love with Rosaline but in all honesty I have forgot that name, and that name's woe. Since meeting Juliet, I know I'll never experience such sad hours again and life is now worth living. To know that I can wake up every morning knowing that I'm in love with a dear saint makes me think to myself "she is my lady, O, it is my love!" You must be eager to know what happened last night right? Well...
As I was wallowing in self-pity, Mercutio decided to drag me along to the Capulet party which is held annually for everyone in fair Verona. Everyone but us; the Montagues. Being the depressed saddo that I was at the time, I replied to this offer of his by saying "I fear, too early: for my mind misgives some consequence yet hanging in the stars" but knowing Mercutio, saying this didn't stop him taking me to the party. When we arrived at the ball, god knows what I should've expected. Falling in love was definitely not what I had intended to happen! But there she was, looking like the goddess that she is. Right then and there, I knew she was something special. With my heart racing, I walked towards her cautiously so as not to attract any unwanted attention-don't forget, we weren't technically invited- and as I finally reached her, I don't know what came over me, but I reached out and took hold of her hand. Then she flirted, I flirted, a sonnet was created and before I knew it, we were kissing! I can't say this without sounding feminine or cliched but the kisses we shared were magical; fireworks, butterflies in my stomach, the whole lot. I could've stayed in her presence for hours but out of nowhere, her nurse came calling for her and then it struck me! Her nurse works in this particular mansion. This particular mansion belongs to the Capulets. She is a Capulet! My life is my foe's debt.
Hold on a second, I've got to go, Benvolio's calling for me.
Okay, back. Now where was I, diary? Oh yeah...
After knowing that you've met the love of your life, you can't just leave. So as the nurse pulled Juliet away, I ran outside in search of the room that they were going to. When certain that they were in one of the bedrooms, I made myself well hidden in the bushes with a view of a balcony. In the distance, I could hear Mercutio trying to make me come back by saying "Romeo! humours! madman! passion! lover!" Did it work? Of course not! I'm the sort of guy that listens to his heart and at that moment, my heart was telling me to catch a glimpse of my love for what could possibly be the last time. Quietly, I waited until but soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It was her, my Juliet. She made her way out onto the balcony and started to talk to the stars. During this one-sided conversation she was having with the heavens above, she said something that got me thinking. What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. Surely a name can't limit who you can love or who you are as a person? Or can it... Anyways, after she said "Take all myself," I plucked up the courage to come out of hiding. I'll admit, she didn't look as pleased to see me as I was to see her. She seemed...whats the word? Puzzled? Confused?
The conversation obviously started out as "How camest thou hither, tell me, and wherefore?" to which I replied "With love's light wings did I o'er-perch these walls" Is that pretty romantic or what? Then she went on to say how she thinks that as a couple, we're rushing into things too quickly and that I should leave before anyone sees me. I still regret saying what I said next because it was such an awkward question; "O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?" How stupid of me to have blurted that out! But then she said something which I swear made the world stop spinning for a millisecond. As she was saying good night, she said "Thy purpose marriage, send me word to-morrow..." I mean, of course I want to marry her! I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else but her. And with that, we parted with such sweet sorrow. And such sweet sorrow it was! We both wanted to say good night till it be morrow.
It's getting late now so I think I'll stop writing for today. I'll be sure to write tomorrow about my wedding. Going to go visit Friar Laurence tomorrow to have everything sorted out, hope it all turns out as planned. I shall leave you with the words that my love said last night...
Good night, good night! A thousand times good night!
Great diary entry! I think that you really did manage to capture the the emotions that Romeo felt and put it into this entry. I also like how you made the dairy seem like it was truly written by romeo by telling the dairy you had to go to meet benvolio. However I do feel that You could improve your ending paragraph to make it as good as the rest of the entry
ReplyDeleteThis is a really good diary entry! :) I liked the way you were able to represent romeo's feeling in a variety of ways, using your knowledge to show his desperation for Juliet. However jut like the comment shown above, i as well think that you need to improve and develop your final paragraph.
ReplyDeleteI loved this: it is diary writing of a very high standard indeed. You fully understand the working of Romeo's mind, and find numerous aptly-chosen quotations to back up your ideas, each of which is embedded into your own prose with seamless ease. In addition, there is plenty of humour here, which serves further to enhance your representation of his adolescent mindset. Impressive stuff indeed!
ReplyDeleteThe only suggestion I would make for any improvement would be to ensure that the earlier, long paragraph had a few more words and phrases from the text embedded into it too, in order to demonstrate fully that all your ideas are firmly rooted in the text. If that were done, this would be a strong Band 1.